Humbly Grateful to Grief

Humility. Lowliness. A deep sense of one’s littleness. Grief, in accompany with God’s word, can be the ultimate teacher of humble gratitude. It has a way of bringing you low. Challenging you to reflect on God’s sovereignty. Demonstrating God’s complete control and our lack thereof, and inevitably brings to light our purpose in this world. For these reasons, and many more, we are humbly grateful to grief.

From the time of Wesley’s accident, we have diligently tried to let gratitude transcend our circumstances. We’ve tried to find various lights in the midst of darkness and cling to them. Here are some of the “lights” of gratitude that we grip ever so tightly most often:

We are incredibly grateful for the life Wesley lived. He has forever touched our hearts in the most perfect and precious ways. We are beyond blessed with memories of the sweetest laughs and giggles, the warmest and sweetest cuddles, and the richest love.

We are so grateful to God that in the midst of such tragedy, Wesley never hurt. He never felt fear or pain. His passing was such a beautiful and peaceful transition from a joy-filled life, to the most perfect home not made with hands (2 Corinthians. 5:1).

We’re humbly grateful for the perfect condition of Wesley’s earthly body. Although his brain was badly injured, his organs were left viable and completely unscathed. He was able to change lives in the most beautiful ways possible by gifting families with hope, when all hope may have seemed lost. He gifted his kidneys to a 42-year-old man, Ray, who has two young children at home. He gifted his heart to a 12-month-old little girl, and his lungs to a one-year-old girl. Truly the purest and sweetest legacy you can leave.

We are immensely grateful for the outpour of love and support from our families, friends, community and even strangers. From lifting the financial burden of medical costs, meals, flowers, cards, acts of kindness, and so much more. We wish we could hug each of you, but please know, from the bottom of our hearts, that we are so humbly grateful to each and every one of you.

We are so grateful for the precious new perspective. Clarissa Moll stated it beautifully when she said, “From our angle on the ground, we can see God’s goodness in new ways. In the dirt and dust of our circumstances, His peace can still reign.” Wesley’s move to heaven will forever shape our perspective and gives us an eternal focus everyday of our lives.

Ultimately, we are humbly grateful for the perfect life, death and resurrection of our Savior. For the abundant life we can have through Him (John 10:10). For the spiritual blessings we partake of through Him (Ephesians 1:3). We are so grateful to serve a God that is so rich in grace and mercy and whom provides the gift of salvation and the hope of heaven if we choose to follow and obey him (John 14:15, Ephesians 2:4-6).

A dear friend Melinda (who knows a thing or two about gratitude in the midst of hardship) shared this beautiful excerpt on social media several months back that really sheds light on the beauty that can come from times of darkness and despair. Originally written by Kimberly Henderson, Henderson writes,

“I would have pulled Joseph out. Out of that pit. Out of that prison. Out of that pain. And I would have cheated nations out of the one God would use to deliver them from famine.  

I would have pulled David out. Out of Saul’s spear-throwing presence. Out of the caves he hid away in. Out of the pain of rejection. And I would have cheated Israel out of a God-hearted king.  

I would have pulled Esther out. Out of being snatched from her only family. Out of being placed in a position she never asked for. Out of the path of a vicious, power-hungry foe. And I would have cheated a people out of the woman God would use to save their very lives.  

And I would have pulled Jesus off. Off of the cross. Off of the road that led to suffering and pain. Off of the path that would mean nakedness and beatings, nails and thorns. And I would have cheated the entire world out of a Savior. Out of salvation. Out of an eternity filled with no more suffering and no more pain.

And oh friend. I want to pull you out. I want to change your path. I want to stop your pain. But right now, I know I would be wrong. I would be out of line. I would be cheating you and cheating the world out of so much good. Because God knows. He knows the good this pain will produce.  He knows the beauty this hard will grow. He’s watching over you and keeping you even in the midst of this. And He’s promising you that you can trust Him. Even when it all feels like more than you can bear.”

-Kimberly Henderson

In the cumbersome and heavy burden of grief, we choose gratitude.  Humble gratitude for the love that stems from the loss, for the lessons that God is teaching through the challenges, and for the opportunity to turn every blessing He pours out, into praise (Hebrews 13:15). We choose to “consider it joy” as we journey through the trials and hardships, knowing God’s goodness and glory will prevail (James 1:2-3). We choose today, tomorrow, and until God calls us home, to be prayerful and discerning and HUMBLY THANKFUL for this road we are on.